Monday confessions

Monday morning, I woke up at 6, pretty early compared to our late night up because Flynn had a migraine , which is pretty rare amongst dolls.  

I was laying with my head on his shoulder, and his chin was propped up on my head.  I didn't want to move, but my arm was also falling asleep. I carefully moved my arm, and his head lifted from mine.  

"Morning, gorgeous."  His voice was a bit gravelly still, and he cleared his throat.  

This morning, I didn't chide him for calling me 'gorgeous'.  I was just glad to be with him - usually, dolls that ended up feeling like he did last night, end up mashed in a Dumpster by morning.  Umm, no.  

I took a deep breath in and raised my head up to smile at him.  "Morning!  Feel any better?"  

"Right now I feel pretty great," he joked, giving me a squeeze with his arm.  I rolled my eyes, and he said, "No, really; I feel a lot better than I did last night, that's for sure."  

I leaned over and gave him a relieved kiss.  "I'm so glad."  

He gave me a small grin, which faded and it seemed as though he was thinking about something.

I sat up, and he did too.  "What?  I know you're thinking about something."  I gave him an encouraging smile and put an arm around his waist, and he did the same to me, holding me tightly. 

He stood restlessly, and I followed him out to the 'deck'.  

"There's a chance I'll have them chronically.  Migraines, I mean.  I know how upset and scared you were last night, and I don't want to put you through that again, if they are chronic.  If you don't want to, I understand fully."  

My eyes teared up.  "Oh, Flynn...no way, never, ever, in a gazillion trillion years, am I leaving you just because you might have a bad headache once in awhile!  Now I know it's not as bad as I thought it was originally."  I grabbed his arm and rubbed my hand up and down his sleeve.  "In case I've not told you, I love you so much.  And if you ever end up in the Dumpster, I hope I go at the same time, cause I could never live without you.  And if you think I don't want to be your wife anymore because of some piddly headaches, you've got another thing coming, mister.  Regardless, she said it was from sleep deprivation, not just because."  

A relieved look washed across his face, and he took my hand gently into his.  I marveled at how gentle he could be, and grabbed him into a hug. 

He kissed my hair and stroked it a few times, but then just put his arms around me as well and we just stood there for I don't know how long.  "You get some idea like that into your head again, and I'll swat you one," I joked, in an attempt to lighten the mood, pulling away a tiny bit and winking at him.  He smiled at me, and I left to go brush and braid my hair.  When I was done braiding, I realized my ribbon was knotted, and I was growling at it, holding my thick braid in one hand and picking at the knot with my teeth, grumbling at it.  

Flynn took one look at me and laughed. "Spit it out and let me get that for ya."  He chuckled the whole time he was picking the knot out.  Within seconds, it was out and he'd tied it in a neat bow around my hair.  

"Thanks," I laughed. He nodded, and we both turned to the now-familiar sound of the babies waking up.  We went over and picked them up before they started to cry.  

"We're getting to be old pros at this," I laughed when the babies silenced immediately.  

He slung his free arm around my shoulders and nodded.  I noticed Allie was studying me intently with her icy blue eyes.  

I leaned across Flynn to smile at Allie.  "Tell Daddy he's silly, huh!"  Whilst I was leaning across him, he plopped a kiss on my hair.  Allie smiled, and my heart squeezed.    

And then Jase came running out.  I shifted Hallie to my other arm and scooped Jase up into my lap.  "Aren't you sleepy yet?"

"Nope!"  She smiled at me, complete with dimples.  

"Okay," I grinned at her.  

Then Janet came hurrying over.  "I just woke up.  Want me to take the babies?"

"No, that's fine, honey; thank you, though!"  I turned to smile at her.  She grinned in relief and collapsed back into her chair.  

Soon, an idea formed in my mind.  

Turning to Flynn, I said, "Could I take Jase and Janet out for awhile today?  Would you be alright with the babies?  If you aren't, that's fine too, I can-"

He grinned at me.  "I can take care of them.  You go have a girl's day out."  

I smiled at him, then I handed Hallie over to him.

I asked Jase to go brush her hair and get ready, and Janet to climb up onto the printer to ask Merida if she wanted to come, too.  When they both left, I leaned over and kissed him goodbye.  

"See you later," I smiled.  He shifted both the babies to his one arm and brushed the hair from my face, cupping my cheek in his hand once he was done.  I put my hand up to his and gave it a squeeze, and then I noticed Jase was coming back over, so I stood up and turned towards her.  

Janet came over, too, and said Merida would be down in a second.  When Merida was here, we were ready to go.  

I suggested that we go visit the 18 inchers, and Merida nodded excitedly.  

"Exactly what I was wantin' to do!"  she beamed.  

It didn't take too awful long to get over to the dresser where the 18 inchers resided. 

As soon as we got there, Merida climbed up onto Angus and held her hands out for Jase.  I held her up and Merida set her down onto her lap and talked with her.  

As for Janet, she went over and found Samantha and Nell, and sat to chat with them.  I scooped up Julie when she came hurrying over, and talked with Elizabeth and Christy.  

We all stayed for a good while, but eventually, Merida said we should probably get back to see if Flynn had survived.  :P

She handed Jase back down to me, and leaned down to give Angus a kiss in his mane, wrapped her arms around his satiny neck for a few seconds, and then climbed off.  Janet came hurrying over, and talked excitedly about her visit with the mini dolls.  She also mentioned how Kailey wasn't very friendly with her, and I said it wasn't with just her.  

When we got back to the shelf, I put Jase down and she scampered over to the corner to play her game she liked to much.  Janet thanked us and then went over to play with Jase.  

Merida linked her arm with mine and cocked her head, turning towards Flynn.  

"Annd here's your lovely wife," she giggled.  

"Oh, quit," I laughed.  

Suddenly (and completely randomly), I remembered that I needed to thank Rayne for orchestrating our day yesterday.  

"Wait a sec," I said, before racing over and scrabbling up the shelf.  

I said a quick "Hello" to Blondie, and then raced over and grabbed Rayne up into a big hug.  I must've surprised her, cause her arms flew out and her eyes bugged.  

"Have a nice day yesterday?"  

"Oh, it was wonderful!  Thank you so, so, sooo much!"  I gave her another squeeze and then stepped back.  "I don't know how to repay you, ever!" 

"You can bring those little youngsters up tomorrow, and I'll watch them.  I've been wanting to meet them!"  She said.  

"Okay, it's a deal!" I smiled.  

"Now go have some fun," she winked, and I left.  

When I came back down, Merida turned towards me.  "Don't need to worry about coming back quick - I can watch these gals for any amount of time.  It's boring up on that shelf!"  

I smiled in thanks.  

"Now, go enjoy your hubby and smooch while you're not interrupted by the kiddos," she teased.  

I put my hand over my eyes in embarrassment.  "We don't....well...we talk, a-and...walk, and..."

Flynn came over behind me and gave me a peck on the forehead.  "And smooch." he grinned, and I gave him a push.  

"Shush," I laughed.  "It's not all we do.  I take it you're feeling fine now, cause you're back to your usual self."  

"Just go," Merida said, who was laughing pretty hard at our awkward antics.  

"Thanks," I laughed, waving at her as I let Flynn lead me down to the floor.

Since it was sooo muggy and hot, I just took Flynn by the hand, swinging my arm back and forth, and told him about how our girls' day out.  

When I was finally through with my chatter, I glanced back at him, because he'd stopped.  "What?"

He pulled my arm, and swung me in towards him.

I put my arms comfortably around his waist.  "What?" I repeated.  

"Just...I dunno.  Just 'cause your my wife, and I love you to plastic bits and pieces," he joked.  

"Oh, you."  I giggled.  "You're bad.  But I love you too.  And I'm glad you're back to your self."    

He took one of my arms from his waist and took my hand, smoothing his thumb back and forth on the back of it.  I leaned my head on my shoulder, in no big rush to keep going.  But there was something I'd been wondering.  I gently slipped my hand away from him and looked up.

"Why're you so..like, affectionate with me?  I mean, it's not like I don't like or appreciate it.  But I was just curious why."  

He took a deep breath and glanced down at me.  "Well....I'd read in lots of places how marriages were wrecked because the couple rushed into things and didn't know each other, or anything.  And I don't want that to happen-" he broke off and grabbed my hand up again.  "I just so don't want to lose you because I rushed you.  I dunno what I'd do."  He mumbled that last part.  But then he went on.  "I'm awful with words, but I've been wantin' to tell you something."

"Before you go on," I stopped him, "I want to say this:  Don't you ever, EVER, think our marriage'll be wrecked cause we moved quickly.  Or because of injuries or headaches.  It was just as much my fault as it was yours that we moved fast...and mine that you got that headache.  And truth is?  I'm glad we got married so soon.  I can enjoy you as my hubby for longer, now!"  

His face split into a huge smile, and I smiled back, my heart leaping.  

We climbed up onto the chair, and he seemed to have lost his nerve about what he wanted to say to me.  

"Whatever it is you wanted to say, I won't laugh or anything.  Just say it," I said, still smiling.  

He repositioned himself, slid an arm around me, cleared his throat...twice...turned to look at me..and then he finally spoke. 

"I'm not good with words, but I've been wanting to say something." He was talking so quietly that I had to lean into him to hear him.  "You're...well..don't feel, like, weird because of this.  Okay?" 

"Okay, I promise," I said quietly, but didn't prod him.  

He squeezed his eyes shut and spilled his guts.  "I know, I know.  You know I love you, I tell you every chance I get, because I do.  But...well, you probably think I'm pathetic."  

When he paused, waiting for an answer, I said, "No...My guess was that you were just as crazy about me as I am you."  I wanted to kiss him but I didn't want to cut him off.  

"Here goes.  Every time I see you, my stomach feels funny - in a good way.  I-I love you so much it hurts.  I can't ever imagine not having you.  I hope you didn't have any hard feelings about rushing" - I shook my head-"A-and, well...I...I hope nothing ever comes between us, cause I don't think I could live without you.  And I'll never, ever give you up if you get hurt or something.  As Flynn from the movie would say, you are my new dream...only I'm not just taking a line from the movie.  You're perfection and you're so beautiful, and you're so sweet...and I don't know what I ever did to deserve you...and I just...thanks for loving me too.  I just hope you're not weirded out or whatever, from me acting so...uh..twitterpated.  So there.  That's what I've been wanting to say."  

By the time he stopped, I was crying.  

Flynn looked alarmed.  "I told you I wasn't good with words...I'm so sorr-"

"Noo!"  I yelped.  "You...you were perfect!"  

He smiled tenderly at me, and wiped my cheeks with such a gentle hand that I grabbed it and held it up against my cheek after he was done, while I gathered my thoughts.  "You gave such a gorgeous speech. For a guy who supposedly is awful with words...I don't think you give yourself enough credit.  I feel the same way about you..." Well, I won't include my whole spiel, as you readers are probably tired of reading about how much I love him, and he loves me, and this and that and whatnot.  But when I was done, he actually had a single tear streaming down HIS cheek, which I wiped carefully, my heart thundering.  

He leaned in to me till our foreheads bumped together.  He and I stared at one another for a few seconds, but then I shut my eyes, because they were getting unfocused.   

And suddenly, I remembered that we were right by the shelf.  I felt soo self-conscious that I pulled away abruptly, although I hated to.  

"What?"  Flynn asked me.  

"They can probably see us from here," I said, glancing up at the shelves.  "And...I dunno.  I just feel a bit awkward being so open in our affection.  But, you know what?"

"There's no other place around here that we CAN be that dolls aren't gonna see us."  he said.  

"Exactly."  

"So why feel awkward?  If it makes you feel weird, I'll-" he started to take his arm from my shoulders, but I stopped him.  

"No.  You know what?  I'm gonna stop holding back and feeling awkward about it. If some doll has an issue with me loving you, they can keep it to themselves." 

I saw a mischievous gleam in Flynn's eyes.  "So you won't mind if I do this?"

"Do what?" And then he started tickling me, of all things.  I yelped, and elbowed him.  When he fell backwards, I collapsed with him, still giggling.

He laid there with a grin, and then slid his arm around my shoulders.  I rested my head on his chest and smiled.  I laid a hand on his chest and we stayed there.  

We must've both dozed off, because next thing I knew, I could feel Flynn pick me up.  It was dark.   I, for one, knew I was exhausted from not sleeping much last night and then my full day today.

"Flynn."

"What?"

"Put me down."

He started to refuse, and I repeated my request, adding a please.  

He sighed, but he did let go of my legs and carefully lowered me down.  I reached up to kiss his cheek. "Thank you."  

We went home, and were greeted by Merida.

"The kids are all asleep.  They were all really good.  See you tomorrow!"

"I'll probably bring them up to you tomorrow, if we do anything tomorrow.  Rayne wants to see them." I smiled.  "Thank you soo much, again."

"Whaddaya mean, 'IF we do anything tomorrow'?"

"You need a break sometimes," I said. 

"And it ain't tomorrow!  I really enjoy babysitting them, truth be told.  Gets my mind off of my legs!" 

I gave her a quick hug and she was on her way up to her shelf.  

I turned back to my hubby as I unbraided my hair.  "And thank you for this wonderful day, again."  I went to lay down behind the lamp; he followed me and sat down in his usual spot.  He leaned down and we kissed goodnight.  But this night, he didn't sit up and sleep.  He laid down beside me.  I laid on my back, felt around until I found his hand beside me, and held it until I fell asleep.  He stroked my hair with gentle caresses for a little bit, and whispered something I didn't quite catch, because I was out cold within minutes.  (I've noticed that he puts most of his monologue on his blog posts..when he creates a post for this day from his perspective, I'll have to sneak over and check out what he said :P)  I was ecstatic to start tomorrow!!!

I've really grown to like and enjoy our evenings alone.  I wanted to enjoy this time for as long as possible, and hoped so much that we keep this tradition forever.  (: