The morning after we began fostering Alexis, I woke up at, like, 9. I had slept sooo hard, but I still woke up with my first headache ever. Bleagh. I didn't tell anyone, though.
Flynn said he'd gotten up with Hallie twice, but she was good other than that.
When I stumbled out from under the bench in the morning, squinting with sleepiness, all havoc was being wreacked.
Hallie was screaming, even ALLIE was fussing and....Jase was apparently having it out with Alexis.
Oh boy.
Since Flynn and Merida had Hallie and Allie covered, I hurried over to the other two girls.
"Girls, girls! Knock it off! What is going on?!" I exclaimed, grabbing Jase's arm in one hand and Alexis' in the other and pulling them apart from one anothers' slapping hands.
"She called Daddy names!" Jase yelled reproachfully at Alexis.
"Why did you call him names, Alexis?" I turned to her and asked.
"Because." She glared reproachfully at me.
Wow. If looks could kill...
"Because why?"
"He's...I do that when I'm scared of someone, okay?"
"I told you, you don't have to be scared of him! He's not Ray!" Jase yelled.
"Jase, honey...quiet down. You don't have to scream to be heard over Hallie and Allie, even though it might seem like it. Now, Alexis...why are you scared of him?"
"Ray put a good dose of fear into her once after she called him something because she was scared of him." Jase said for her, and she wouldn't meet my eyes.
"Okay...but why did you start a fight with her? Yesterday, you were so happy to see her..."
"Because she doesn't need to call Daddy names!"
"Okay. Now, Jase...you don't need to pick fights with your adopted siblings just because she says something you don't agree with, okay honey? And Alexis, I can understand why you're scared, but name-calling doesn't help anything. And your Daddy won't hurt you, I promise. Alright, sweetie?"
"Sorry, Momma..." Jase looked sheepishly up at me.
"It's alright. Just don't be so quick to fight, okay?"
She nodded and I left her go. I let go of Alexis' arm as well, but she didn't twitch.
"Lexi...mind if I call you Lexi?"
She shrugged, staring at the ground.
"Are you upset at me now?"
She shook her head silently.
"What's wrong?" I wasn't sure if I should pull her close into a hug or if I should leave well enough alone.
"Was just...nothing."
"Well, if you're thinking about it, it must not be nothing," I knelt beside her and wrapped my arms around her. "You can trust me."
"I've just been fostered by so many other couples that I can't help but wonder how long I'll be here."
My heart squeezed for this poor girl. "Oh, honey...don't worry about that stuff."
"But really. I don't think I'll be here long, by the looks of things."
"What?" I asked, completely confused. What was she talking about?
"Babies screaming, I know just by looking at you that you're unsure about this yourself..add that together and you've got a recipe for returning me."
Well, she was an old pro. I could feel my headache worsening as we talked.
"We'll see. I'd like to keep you around, though, honey, really." I gave her a hug and looked down into her cool, emotionless face. It must have taken a lot to make a six-year-old doll to be like that.
She walked away, and I stood with a deflated sigh.
"What's the matter, hon?" Flynn strode over, Hallie in his arms.
"Nothing..." I fibbed, looking away from him and down at Hallie. "Want me to take Miss Screams-A-Lot?"
"I can handle miss Hallie. What I'd like to know is why you look so...like...I dunno."
"Like a zombie? Thanks.." I grumbled. "I'm fine."
"I'm not sure I believe that, but I'll let it slide. What were those two fighting about?"
"Alexis apparently called you names, because she's afraid of you..and Jase flipped on her. I broke it up."
"I see." he gave me another puzzled glance and then left.
Annnd that's basically how the whole entire day went. Hallie screamed. And screamed. And cried...and cried...and..well, you get the gist. And because of Hallie, Allie cried plenty as well. Merida was starting to get a little snippy with everyone else because of that. Jase was still somewhat miffed at Alexis, and Alexis was..Alexis. I tried plenty to include her, but if I was anywhere near my own husband, she wouldn't go anywhere near us. Rayne convinced Merida and Blondie into a walk, so it was just Flynn and me against two screaming babies, one horribly shy girl, and another girl that was volatile as all getout. My headache was raging by the time it was night.
We all got the babies to go to sleep, the girls to simmer down and go to sleep, and we were heading for bed when Hallie started crying. Aaaagain.
"Get some sleep...I'll be back if I can get her to go to sleep." I mumbled to Flynn as I turned on my heel and made my way back to Hallie.
I scooped her up. "Little girl...why on earth are you so upset? I would love to know..." I told her, giving her a cuddle and plopping down.
She quieted down eventually, and I was able to lay her down and go to bed. For however long THAT would last!
I stopped when I heard slight, muffled noises coming from Alexis and Jase's direction.
I crept over and peered down at them. Alexis was wide awake, and I could see the tears in her eyes.
I immediately scooped her up and gave her a concerned look. "What's wrong?"
"I had a scary dream," she mumbled, as if she was embarrassed.
"Oh, that's not good," I told her. "You wanna elaborate?"
"I just...just dreamed that Ray was back.." she whispered quietly.
"Ahh...well, you don't have to worry about that happening. He's not coming back."
"How do you know?"
And that's how I ended up spilling my whole spiel about how he'd tried to take Hallie and Allie away from us, and what he'd done to me and so on and so forth. When I was done, she immediately leaned into me and wrapped her tiny arms around me in a hug that made my heart squeeze.
"You're brave, I guess...he never hurt me that bad. And you aren't scared of boys after that."
"I'm not very brave. I was scared, too. And if you give your Daddy a chance, you won't be scared, either. He's really nice, trust me. He might like to tease, but he's not mean by any stretch."
"I'll try...but it's hard." She squinched her face up and looked at me.
"I can understand. Now...do we feel better?" I asked her.
"I dunno...I guess so. I'm just scared."
"Do you want to sleep with me tonight?"
A very firm NO came from that one. "I'm fine."
"Okay...well, you need to get to sleep, then, and so do I." I told her, giving her one last cuddle and kissing her forehead. She quietly went back to bed, and I headed back there myself.
I was soooo worn out, and my head ached, and I couldn't sleep because of that. I was in tears by one o clock in the morning, when I STILL hadn't gone to sleep. I didn't want to wake Flynn, so I curled up at the other end under the bench, and cried to myself - I'm pretty good at silent crying if need be.
I needed a good cry, and a good cry I intended to have. But soon, I heard Flynn.
"Hon? What's the matter?"
"Hmm? N-nothing." I hated the fact that my voice cracked. I looked up and saw he was sitting up beside me, peering at me with a concerned look on his face.
"There's obviously something. C'mere."
"I'm telling you, it's-"
He reached to pull me into a hug, but I pushed away from him, knowing that if he would as much as touch me, I'd burst into tears. Again.
"You're going to tell me one way or another, girl." he raised his eyebrows at me and stared me down. He flopped down on his back, but he still stared at me.
I crawled up to the other end under the bench and returned his pensive stare, but I lost, and I suddenly felt deflated. "You're not gonna back down, are you." my voice wobbled.
He silently held an arm out from his side, and I took in a ragged breath as the tears got the better of me once again. I curled up in a ball on my side, and he silently wrapped his arms tightly around me, holding me until I got control of my composure again. "I-I'm..sorry I shoved you. And you're right...I'm tired, run down, I wish I knew what was the matter with Hallie, a-and...and poor Alexis is so scared of Ray coming back that she had a nightmare tonight about him..and I wish she wasn't so scared...and I have a massive headache and I can't go to sleep because of it..." I glanced up at his eyes, which were filled with concern. "You have really gorgeous brown eyes, you know...oh gosh, did I really say that? I'm so dumb...I'm just...just too tired to even really THINK straight!" I gulped out; embarrassed, upset, and just..ugh.
He took a deep breath and stared at me a few moments before he replied. "I'm sorry, hon. I wish I knew what was up with Hallie, too. But don't worry..Alexis will come around. But why didn't you let me know you had a headache? That's crummy."
I shrugged. "I didn't think I needed to...I mean, you wouldn't have been able to do anything about it anyway. That and I felt kind of dumb being so grouched about it, when that's not even close to what you dealt with, with the migraines."
"Yeah, but it's not dumb. Headaches stink as well." he held me close as I unfurled my legs and wormed in a bit closer to his side, putting my head on his chest. "I'll get up with Hallie tonight."
"No..." I mumbled. "I can-"
"You can go to sleep and get rested up. Your headache will go away if you get a good night's rest."
"But you'll-"
"Be just fine. I was fine today, and I will be fine tomorrow."
I opened my mouth to protest, but I just sighed and thanked him.
"Sure, hon. Oh, and for the record? You've got the most captivating green eyes."
Seriously...he had to rub in my awkward in-the-brain, out-the-mouth moment? "Knock it off." I grumbled with a huff.
"Oh, I'm just teasing, hon. Actually..it's true, and I'm .not really TEASING, but..you know."
Alrighty then. "Yyyyyeah."
"Okay, I'll let you get to sleep now...night," he planted a kiss in my hair and pulled me a bit closer with a sigh. I reached over to give him a one-armed hug and then I was FINALLY asleep.
So that's where we're at now. I really, really hope that Hallie starts going back to the sweet little baby she used to be...and I hope Alexis comes around. I'm hoping that our little heart-to-heart tonight helped her to realize we're not out to get her or whatever, but we'll see.
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