Monday confessions

Monday morning, I woke up at 6, pretty early compared to our late night up because Flynn had a migraine , which is pretty rare amongst dolls.  

I was laying with my head on his shoulder, and his chin was propped up on my head.  I didn't want to move, but my arm was also falling asleep. I carefully moved my arm, and his head lifted from mine.  

"Morning, gorgeous."  His voice was a bit gravelly still, and he cleared his throat.  

This morning, I didn't chide him for calling me 'gorgeous'.  I was just glad to be with him - usually, dolls that ended up feeling like he did last night, end up mashed in a Dumpster by morning.  Umm, no.  

I took a deep breath in and raised my head up to smile at him.  "Morning!  Feel any better?"  

"Right now I feel pretty great," he joked, giving me a squeeze with his arm.  I rolled my eyes, and he said, "No, really; I feel a lot better than I did last night, that's for sure."  

I leaned over and gave him a relieved kiss.  "I'm so glad."  

He gave me a small grin, which faded and it seemed as though he was thinking about something.

I sat up, and he did too.  "What?  I know you're thinking about something."  I gave him an encouraging smile and put an arm around his waist, and he did the same to me, holding me tightly. 

He stood restlessly, and I followed him out to the 'deck'.  

"There's a chance I'll have them chronically.  Migraines, I mean.  I know how upset and scared you were last night, and I don't want to put you through that again, if they are chronic.  If you don't want to, I understand fully."  

My eyes teared up.  "Oh, Flynn...no way, never, ever, in a gazillion trillion years, am I leaving you just because you might have a bad headache once in awhile!  Now I know it's not as bad as I thought it was originally."  I grabbed his arm and rubbed my hand up and down his sleeve.  "In case I've not told you, I love you so much.  And if you ever end up in the Dumpster, I hope I go at the same time, cause I could never live without you.  And if you think I don't want to be your wife anymore because of some piddly headaches, you've got another thing coming, mister.  Regardless, she said it was from sleep deprivation, not just because."  

A relieved look washed across his face, and he took my hand gently into his.  I marveled at how gentle he could be, and grabbed him into a hug. 

He kissed my hair and stroked it a few times, but then just put his arms around me as well and we just stood there for I don't know how long.  "You get some idea like that into your head again, and I'll swat you one," I joked, in an attempt to lighten the mood, pulling away a tiny bit and winking at him.  He smiled at me, and I left to go brush and braid my hair.  When I was done braiding, I realized my ribbon was knotted, and I was growling at it, holding my thick braid in one hand and picking at the knot with my teeth, grumbling at it.  

Flynn took one look at me and laughed. "Spit it out and let me get that for ya."  He chuckled the whole time he was picking the knot out.  Within seconds, it was out and he'd tied it in a neat bow around my hair.  

"Thanks," I laughed. He nodded, and we both turned to the now-familiar sound of the babies waking up.  We went over and picked them up before they started to cry.  

"We're getting to be old pros at this," I laughed when the babies silenced immediately.  

He slung his free arm around my shoulders and nodded.  I noticed Allie was studying me intently with her icy blue eyes.  

I leaned across Flynn to smile at Allie.  "Tell Daddy he's silly, huh!"  Whilst I was leaning across him, he plopped a kiss on my hair.  Allie smiled, and my heart squeezed.    

And then Jase came running out.  I shifted Hallie to my other arm and scooped Jase up into my lap.  "Aren't you sleepy yet?"

"Nope!"  She smiled at me, complete with dimples.  

"Okay," I grinned at her.  

Then Janet came hurrying over.  "I just woke up.  Want me to take the babies?"

"No, that's fine, honey; thank you, though!"  I turned to smile at her.  She grinned in relief and collapsed back into her chair.  

Soon, an idea formed in my mind.  

Turning to Flynn, I said, "Could I take Jase and Janet out for awhile today?  Would you be alright with the babies?  If you aren't, that's fine too, I can-"

He grinned at me.  "I can take care of them.  You go have a girl's day out."  

I smiled at him, then I handed Hallie over to him.

I asked Jase to go brush her hair and get ready, and Janet to climb up onto the printer to ask Merida if she wanted to come, too.  When they both left, I leaned over and kissed him goodbye.  

"See you later," I smiled.  He shifted both the babies to his one arm and brushed the hair from my face, cupping my cheek in his hand once he was done.  I put my hand up to his and gave it a squeeze, and then I noticed Jase was coming back over, so I stood up and turned towards her.  

Janet came over, too, and said Merida would be down in a second.  When Merida was here, we were ready to go.  

I suggested that we go visit the 18 inchers, and Merida nodded excitedly.  

"Exactly what I was wantin' to do!"  she beamed.  

It didn't take too awful long to get over to the dresser where the 18 inchers resided. 

As soon as we got there, Merida climbed up onto Angus and held her hands out for Jase.  I held her up and Merida set her down onto her lap and talked with her.  

As for Janet, she went over and found Samantha and Nell, and sat to chat with them.  I scooped up Julie when she came hurrying over, and talked with Elizabeth and Christy.  

We all stayed for a good while, but eventually, Merida said we should probably get back to see if Flynn had survived.  :P

She handed Jase back down to me, and leaned down to give Angus a kiss in his mane, wrapped her arms around his satiny neck for a few seconds, and then climbed off.  Janet came hurrying over, and talked excitedly about her visit with the mini dolls.  She also mentioned how Kailey wasn't very friendly with her, and I said it wasn't with just her.  

When we got back to the shelf, I put Jase down and she scampered over to the corner to play her game she liked to much.  Janet thanked us and then went over to play with Jase.  

Merida linked her arm with mine and cocked her head, turning towards Flynn.  

"Annd here's your lovely wife," she giggled.  

"Oh, quit," I laughed.  

Suddenly (and completely randomly), I remembered that I needed to thank Rayne for orchestrating our day yesterday.  

"Wait a sec," I said, before racing over and scrabbling up the shelf.  

I said a quick "Hello" to Blondie, and then raced over and grabbed Rayne up into a big hug.  I must've surprised her, cause her arms flew out and her eyes bugged.  

"Have a nice day yesterday?"  

"Oh, it was wonderful!  Thank you so, so, sooo much!"  I gave her another squeeze and then stepped back.  "I don't know how to repay you, ever!" 

"You can bring those little youngsters up tomorrow, and I'll watch them.  I've been wanting to meet them!"  She said.  

"Okay, it's a deal!" I smiled.  

"Now go have some fun," she winked, and I left.  

When I came back down, Merida turned towards me.  "Don't need to worry about coming back quick - I can watch these gals for any amount of time.  It's boring up on that shelf!"  

I smiled in thanks.  

"Now, go enjoy your hubby and smooch while you're not interrupted by the kiddos," she teased.  

I put my hand over my eyes in embarrassment.  "We don't....well...we talk, a-and...walk, and..."

Flynn came over behind me and gave me a peck on the forehead.  "And smooch." he grinned, and I gave him a push.  

"Shush," I laughed.  "It's not all we do.  I take it you're feeling fine now, cause you're back to your usual self."  

"Just go," Merida said, who was laughing pretty hard at our awkward antics.  

"Thanks," I laughed, waving at her as I let Flynn lead me down to the floor.

Since it was sooo muggy and hot, I just took Flynn by the hand, swinging my arm back and forth, and told him about how our girls' day out.  

When I was finally through with my chatter, I glanced back at him, because he'd stopped.  "What?"

He pulled my arm, and swung me in towards him.

I put my arms comfortably around his waist.  "What?" I repeated.  

"Just...I dunno.  Just 'cause your my wife, and I love you to plastic bits and pieces," he joked.  

"Oh, you."  I giggled.  "You're bad.  But I love you too.  And I'm glad you're back to your self."    

He took one of my arms from his waist and took my hand, smoothing his thumb back and forth on the back of it.  I leaned my head on my shoulder, in no big rush to keep going.  But there was something I'd been wondering.  I gently slipped my hand away from him and looked up.

"Why're you so..like, affectionate with me?  I mean, it's not like I don't like or appreciate it.  But I was just curious why."  

He took a deep breath and glanced down at me.  "Well....I'd read in lots of places how marriages were wrecked because the couple rushed into things and didn't know each other, or anything.  And I don't want that to happen-" he broke off and grabbed my hand up again.  "I just so don't want to lose you because I rushed you.  I dunno what I'd do."  He mumbled that last part.  But then he went on.  "I'm awful with words, but I've been wantin' to tell you something."

"Before you go on," I stopped him, "I want to say this:  Don't you ever, EVER, think our marriage'll be wrecked cause we moved quickly.  Or because of injuries or headaches.  It was just as much my fault as it was yours that we moved fast...and mine that you got that headache.  And truth is?  I'm glad we got married so soon.  I can enjoy you as my hubby for longer, now!"  

His face split into a huge smile, and I smiled back, my heart leaping.  

We climbed up onto the chair, and he seemed to have lost his nerve about what he wanted to say to me.  

"Whatever it is you wanted to say, I won't laugh or anything.  Just say it," I said, still smiling.  

He repositioned himself, slid an arm around me, cleared his throat...twice...turned to look at me..and then he finally spoke. 

"I'm not good with words, but I've been wanting to say something." He was talking so quietly that I had to lean into him to hear him.  "You're...well..don't feel, like, weird because of this.  Okay?" 

"Okay, I promise," I said quietly, but didn't prod him.  

He squeezed his eyes shut and spilled his guts.  "I know, I know.  You know I love you, I tell you every chance I get, because I do.  But...well, you probably think I'm pathetic."  

When he paused, waiting for an answer, I said, "No...My guess was that you were just as crazy about me as I am you."  I wanted to kiss him but I didn't want to cut him off.  

"Here goes.  Every time I see you, my stomach feels funny - in a good way.  I-I love you so much it hurts.  I can't ever imagine not having you.  I hope you didn't have any hard feelings about rushing" - I shook my head-"A-and, well...I...I hope nothing ever comes between us, cause I don't think I could live without you.  And I'll never, ever give you up if you get hurt or something.  As Flynn from the movie would say, you are my new dream...only I'm not just taking a line from the movie.  You're perfection and you're so beautiful, and you're so sweet...and I don't know what I ever did to deserve you...and I just...thanks for loving me too.  I just hope you're not weirded out or whatever, from me acting so...uh..twitterpated.  So there.  That's what I've been wanting to say."  

By the time he stopped, I was crying.  

Flynn looked alarmed.  "I told you I wasn't good with words...I'm so sorr-"

"Noo!"  I yelped.  "You...you were perfect!"  

He smiled tenderly at me, and wiped my cheeks with such a gentle hand that I grabbed it and held it up against my cheek after he was done, while I gathered my thoughts.  "You gave such a gorgeous speech. For a guy who supposedly is awful with words...I don't think you give yourself enough credit.  I feel the same way about you..." Well, I won't include my whole spiel, as you readers are probably tired of reading about how much I love him, and he loves me, and this and that and whatnot.  But when I was done, he actually had a single tear streaming down HIS cheek, which I wiped carefully, my heart thundering.  

He leaned in to me till our foreheads bumped together.  He and I stared at one another for a few seconds, but then I shut my eyes, because they were getting unfocused.   

And suddenly, I remembered that we were right by the shelf.  I felt soo self-conscious that I pulled away abruptly, although I hated to.  

"What?"  Flynn asked me.  

"They can probably see us from here," I said, glancing up at the shelves.  "And...I dunno.  I just feel a bit awkward being so open in our affection.  But, you know what?"

"There's no other place around here that we CAN be that dolls aren't gonna see us."  he said.  

"Exactly."  

"So why feel awkward?  If it makes you feel weird, I'll-" he started to take his arm from my shoulders, but I stopped him.  

"No.  You know what?  I'm gonna stop holding back and feeling awkward about it. If some doll has an issue with me loving you, they can keep it to themselves." 

I saw a mischievous gleam in Flynn's eyes.  "So you won't mind if I do this?"

"Do what?" And then he started tickling me, of all things.  I yelped, and elbowed him.  When he fell backwards, I collapsed with him, still giggling.

He laid there with a grin, and then slid his arm around my shoulders.  I rested my head on his chest and smiled.  I laid a hand on his chest and we stayed there.  

We must've both dozed off, because next thing I knew, I could feel Flynn pick me up.  It was dark.   I, for one, knew I was exhausted from not sleeping much last night and then my full day today.

"Flynn."

"What?"

"Put me down."

He started to refuse, and I repeated my request, adding a please.  

He sighed, but he did let go of my legs and carefully lowered me down.  I reached up to kiss his cheek. "Thank you."  

We went home, and were greeted by Merida.

"The kids are all asleep.  They were all really good.  See you tomorrow!"

"I'll probably bring them up to you tomorrow, if we do anything tomorrow.  Rayne wants to see them." I smiled.  "Thank you soo much, again."

"Whaddaya mean, 'IF we do anything tomorrow'?"

"You need a break sometimes," I said. 

"And it ain't tomorrow!  I really enjoy babysitting them, truth be told.  Gets my mind off of my legs!" 

I gave her a quick hug and she was on her way up to her shelf.  

I turned back to my hubby as I unbraided my hair.  "And thank you for this wonderful day, again."  I went to lay down behind the lamp; he followed me and sat down in his usual spot.  He leaned down and we kissed goodnight.  But this night, he didn't sit up and sleep.  He laid down beside me.  I laid on my back, felt around until I found his hand beside me, and held it until I fell asleep.  He stroked my hair with gentle caresses for a little bit, and whispered something I didn't quite catch, because I was out cold within minutes.  (I've noticed that he puts most of his monologue on his blog posts..when he creates a post for this day from his perspective, I'll have to sneak over and check out what he said :P)  I was ecstatic to start tomorrow!!!

I've really grown to like and enjoy our evenings alone.  I wanted to enjoy this time for as long as possible, and hoped so much that we keep this tradition forever.  (:  

Flynn...the end of a really good day ending in a crummy way..

So Sunday night ended with a nasty feeling.  I woke up shortly after going to sleep, feeling really sick.  I felt like my head was going to explode, and my stomach rolled.  I was cold and clammy.  Usually, when dolls get like this, they end up being tossed in the Dumpster.  So naturally, I was terrified.
I tried to lay down, but there wasn't any space.  I grasped Rapunzel's hand and patted her shoulder gently, hoping she would just move over and go back to sleep.
She looked up at me with a confused smile, which quickly faded when I asked her if I could lay down.  Just move over and go back to sleep?  Yeah, then I remembered this was my wife...she jumped up with a gasp, realized how sick I was, and then asked what the matter was.  When I explained it, she was horrified.  Then, she just tore off.  I sat down and put my head between my knees, willing the nausea to go away.  When she came back, she had two  of Tangled Fan's shirts with her, which she folded up.  She then helped me over to behind the lamp and made me lie down, and then she tenderly put the other shirt over me.  I thought she'd come back over, but she just went to sit by the alarm clock. Hallie started to cry, so she picked her up and held her, I guess.  I was squeezing my eyes shut and willing the painful headache to go away.  Eventually, I realized that I might end up in a Dumpster by morning and I wanted my wife beside me as long as I could.  I called her name once, but it ended up just a gravelly whisper, but I had more success on the second attempt.  She came over quickly, sitting down and asking what was wrong.
I told her, "Lay down.  You'll never get any sleep like that."  Only my voice stuttered.
Her voice shook when she disagreed.  "I don't want to disturb you."
I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut at the sudden zing of pain in my head from shaking it.
I heard a little gasp-y noise, and then she smoothed a warm hand over my forehead.  I felt her stand to leave, and I opened my eyes long enough to grab her hand.  I hated how shaky I was, but I hated even worse how shaky she was.
When she hesitated, I said, "Please?"  I didn't want to elaborate on my concern.
She slipped down beside me and then I felt her arms go around me, and she kissed me on the cheek.  I heard something that sounded like drops of water fall onto the shirt, and I realized she was crying.  She was trembling, too.
Finally, I heard the door click open, and Tangled Fan walked in.  Rapunzel jumped up and ran for the 'deck', where I heard her whispering about the situation with Tangled Fan.
I opened my eyes just as the lamp was clicked on.  The light burned my eyes horribly!  I held an arm up and shielded my face, exclaiming on how it hurt.
Tangled Fan seemed to know exactly what the problem was, why I had the problem (sleep deprivation), and within minutes, she'd gotten something rubbed on my face and I had downed a tiny bit of Pepto-Bismol.  Whatever was smeared on my face seemed to make my headache die down a bit.  She wiped it off and then left us to our own devices, after telling me that if I was still having what she called a migraine by morning, she'd give me some Excedrin.  She instructed Rapunzel to keep an eye on me, too.
Rapunzel got up and situated things so that the kids wouldn't get wakened up by the lamp that was on, and then by the time she came back, I was finally feeling somewhat better.

She stood in front of me.  "Feel better?"
"Yeah..." I said quietly.  I tried to  give her a smile, but then I realized how red her eyes were.  "Your eyes are red."  I felt bad that she had been so scared she'd cried.
And yet, she tried to cover it up to keep me from being concerned.  "Um, bloodshot, yeah."
"No..red, like crying red.  I'm sorry if I scared you."
The levee finally broke.  "Of course you scared me!  Dolls usually don't have a good outcome when they feel like that!  I didn't want to lose you.  Don't you dare ever do that again!"  She thought for a second, and her face almost crumpled.  "I'm so, so sorry - you probably got it from sitting up sleeping, didn't you?  Oh my gosh, it's all my fault!"  She clapped a hand to her mouth in horror.
I silently held a hand out, hoping she'd sit back down by me.
She didn't take it, and I wondered why for a second.  She marched over, dropped to her knees, and thrust herself into me to kiss with such force, I wondered if her life depended on it.  Her whole body was shaking and I could feel her heart thundering, still, so I returned the kiss, hoping to show her that I would be alright.  I felt a zing of something go up my spine, which was quickly followed by a short wave of nausea, which I tried to push down, by focusing on my wife.  She eventually pulled away, to touch her forehead with my still-clammy one.  She told me that I wouldn't sleep sitting up again.
I protested, still touching heads with her.  "But you'll get wakened up if I get up to tend to the babies."
"I'll get up, too, then!  They're not so bad now."  She pulled away and touched my cheek with her hand, a concerned look on her face.  "How're you feeling?"
I still felt pretty crummy, but I didn't want to tell her that.  And I really did feel better than I had earlier!  "Substancially better, thank you."  I told her.  To prove it, I reached up to smooth the hair out of her face.
She started to lean in towards me, but stopped and instead, sat down the whole way.

She wrapped her arms tightly around me, and I held her gently around the waist. She was still shaking, the poor thing.  She sighed, sounding like a baby who'd cried itself to sleep.  We slid down the wall of the shelf and just laid there.  She was shaking so hard, so I tightened my grip around her.
"I love you.  So, so much.  I might not act as affectionate, but I love you...I was so scared..I'm sure you were, too...I wish I'd stop shaking, I'm probably bothering you!  I feel so bad this happened to you.  You know..." she kept whispering in my ear until I nodded off.  I still felt her, however, when she set a small kiss on my forehead, turned the light off, tightened her grip around me - if that was even possible - and laid her sweet head down on my chest.  And then I was out.

In Sickness and In Health

Sunday night, I didn't get to sleep very long.  

Flynn woke me at too-early o'clock.  He clutched my hand and leaned over me.  His face was white. "I-I don't feel good...I-I...can I lie down here?  I'm s-so sorry."

"Are your teeth chattering?"  I gasped, jumping up.  

"I'm clammy and feel like I'm going to throw up...my head's throbbing and I feel practically like I'm gonna, like, die or something.." when he saw my hand fly up to my heart, he said, "No, not...not literally die...I just need to lie down.."   

I told him to sit and wait a couple seconds.  I jumped from our 'deck' to the chair and made it.  I clambered around onto the trunk at the foot of the bed and found a couple of Tangled Fan's old shirts I knew weren't in use anymore.  

It was all I could do to drag them back, but I did, and quickly folded the one up to make a bed.  

I took him and eased him back around to lie down onto the makeshift bed.  

I tucked the shirt around him and tried to hide my shaking hands.  Us dolls didn't normally get sick, and if we did, it was usually really serious.  I didn't want to disturb him, so I went over to sit by the alarm clock. 

Allie was getting pretty good at sleeping all night, but Hallie started crying.  I picked her up and held her close up against my chest, and watched Flynn out of the corner of my eye.  I tried so hard not to cry, but I was terrified.  Tangled Fan wasn't in her room right now, or I'd get her and try to help him.  

When Hallie stopped crying and drifted off to sleep, I heard Flynn say my name softly.  

I sat beside him.  "What, honey?"  I whispered.  

"Lay down...you'll n-never get any s-sleep like th-that."  

My heart pounded.  His voice was really faint and gravelly.  My voice shook.  "I'm fine.  I don't want t-to disturb you." 

He shook his head, and I silently let some tears spill down my cheeks.  It was dark and his eyes were squeezed shut anyway.  He felt so sickly, but he still was concerned about me.  When I realized that, I almost sobbed, but suppressed it.  Biting my lip, I smoothed a hand over his clammy forehead, but then I went to stand.  He clutched my hand with surprising strength, despite his shakiness.  

I don't really know why I didn't want to lay down beside him.  I mean, we are married and everything, and the normal thing would be to do that, but it seemed way too awkward to me...but when he gave a pleading 'please', I carefully lowered myself down beside him, resting one hand on his chest and the other around his shoulders.  I gave him a kiss on the cheek and tried to calm myself down. I let a few tears out, silently, and hoped he didn't know I was crying. 

I couldn't go to sleep.  I was shaking all over in fear.  Finally, I heard the door crack open, and I leaped up.

I ran to the 'deck', arms wrapped around myself, and explained what was wrong to Tangled Fan.  She nodded, and I wondered how she could keep her cool.  If she was married, she might understand!  

Tangled Fan clicked the lamp on.  

Flynn's hand flew up and he turned his face away. "Good grief...too bright!"  

"Mmmhmmm." Tangled Fan sounded like she'd figured out a mystery.  "Feeling like you're gonna puke, and just feel like you're gonna keel over in general?"

He nodded silently.  "And..my head's killing me." 

"Migraine."  She said simply.  "You dolls can get them once in awhile.  Usually from not getting enough sleep or something, once in awhile.  If you're still sick by morning, I'll give you something for it.  Now, for now, what we'll do is this."  She left for a few seconds, but then came back with some sort of paste, and rubbed it  on his temples, then gave him a teensy dose of Pepto-Bismol, scrubbed the paste back off, and said it should start to alleviate the symptoms within a half an hour, but if it didn't work, she'd figure out a dosage of human migraine medicine for him.  

When she left, she left the light on and told me to keep an eye on him.  Suddenly remembering the kids were trying to sleep, I found a box and set it so that it would block the light, but I could still get to them easily if necessary. 

When I finally returned to him, he seemed to be feeling a bit better, and had tossed his 'covers' off, and was sitting up.  

I walked over to him, stood in front of him, and asked if he was feeling better.  

"Yeah."  Though his voice was still gravelly, he gave a slight smile, but then it faded.   "Your eyes are red."

I mentally kicked myself.  "Uh...bloodshot, yeah."

"No...red, like crying-red."  He told me.  "I'm sorry if I scared you."  

"Of course you scared me!  Dolls usually don't have a good outcome when they feel like that!  I didn't want to lose you.  Don't you dare ever do that again.  I'm so, so sorry...you probably got it from sitting up sleeping, didn't you?  Oh my gosh, it's all my fault.."  I put a hand over my mouth.  But then I straightened up and told myself that I needed to take care of him, not stand there, all weepy.  

He stared at me and held out a hand.  I didn't take it.

Instead of taking it, I went over to him, knelt  down, and grabbed him into a kiss.    I was still shaking and my heart still beating so hard I wondered if it would burst out of my chest.  Finally, I pulled away and touched my forehead with his.  "From now on, you sleep normally and don't sit up sleeping, okay?"  I whispered.  

His skin was beginning to feel less clammy and cold-sweaty. He didn't pull away from my face to whisper, "But you'll get woken up if I get up to tend to the babies."

"I'll get up too, then!  They're not so bad now."  I reluctantly drew my head away from his.  "How're you feeling?"  I touched my hand to his cheek. 

"Substantially better.  Thank you."  He reached to brush the hair I hadn't even noticed was in my face, and I felt the urge to kiss him again, but I didn't want to seem weird.  I was just soooo relieved he was okay!  

I sat down, but reached around to put my arms tightly around him.  He put an arm loosely around my waist, and I loosed a shuddery sigh, trying to stop shaking. He must've been feeling better, because he held me tight to his side.  I whispered in his ear quietly until he finally drifted off to a more peaceful sleep. I stayed up for awhile longer, making sure he was really alright, before I allowed myself to sleep too.  My shaking subsided eventually, and my heartbeat went back to normal.  Giving him a small kiss on the forehead, since he was asleep anyway, I reached over and clicked the lamp off and laid with my head on his chest, listening to his heart and his slow, steady breaths, which were much different than his erratic, frantic, 'I-don't-want-to-puke' breathing just two hours before.  

Flynn here..today was awesome (:

This morning dawned clear and rain free, but it was nasty muggy.  I could practically feel my plastic melting just sitting there!
I'd been up and down with the babies a few times last night, but after I quit blogging my last post, they seemed to have settled down enough that I could go to bed too.
When I woke, everything was still and silent.  I stood up and looked to make sure everyone was still there, it was so quiet!  Then I glanced over at Rapunzel, who was all rolled up in her hair, sleeping soundly for the first time since Wednesday.  I just stood there, watching her.  It amazed me how one single doll could make me feel so funny.  It almost hurt, I liked her so much!  And it takes a lot before I'll show my emotions, usually..but not around her.  Anyway, I couldn't help but smile.

After a short amount of time, she rolled over and looked up at me.  Blinking, she sat up and asked me what.
Staring at her pretty face, I said, "Morning, gorgeous."
She glanced down at herself and noticed her tangled hair.  "Oh, knock it off."  [complete with rolling of eyes.]
I said that I was serious, before I sat down and gently brushed her hair away from her face and pushed it behind her shoulders.  She sat stock-still with a look of sheer pleasure on her face, before she remembered what I'd said earlier, about being serious about her being pretty.  "You're obviously blind if you think I'm so 'gorgeous'.  Hey, thank you soo much for getting up with the kids last night.  How can I ever thank you enough?" she said.
After she finished, she kissed me on the cheek, and I got all funny-feeling in my stomach, so I told her she'd thanked me enough already, and then smiled.
We were just sitting there, she would probably say 'lost in each others' eyes'...and then I heard a tiny whimper.  That tiny whimper could pack a punch on the eardrums, if you didn't get to work quieting it down!
I stood, slightly reluctant to end the moment. "Annd duty calls."  I said, holding a hand out to my wife. She took it with another smile that never failed to make my heart squeeze.
I turned quickly towards Allie and scooped her up; and Rapunzel took Hallie.  It didn't take too awful long to calm them down.  I glanced over at Rapunzel just in time to see Hallie smiling up at her - and saw Rapunzel's face light up.  I wanted to tell her how good a mother she will be, again, but didn't want to break in.  Instead, we set them back down.
And then the older girls woke up too.  Jase ran over to Rapunzel, babbling a hundred miles an hour [possibly a hundred and one miles an hour]..and then she noticed me, and flung her arms out towards me.  I took her, and Rapunzel went over to talk with Janet.

After Jase squirmed to get down, I set her down and turned to see where Rapunzel had disappeared to.  She was out on the 'deck',  carefully brushing and braiding her hair.  I stepped over to stand a little bit behind her.  Just as she had finished braiding, she turned and I snagged her up into a hug, just because.
After she pulled away from me, she asked what the hug was for.
"No particular reason.  Oh, and when I thought you couldn't get any prettier, you just did!" I winked, and she rolled her eyes before shoving me, a playful gleam in her eyes.  So I decided to tease her right back.  Instead of stepping backwards, I kept my arm tight around her, so she went backwards with me.  With a little squeal, she realized we weren't going to fall.  I bent down to steal a quick little kiss, and she giggled, telling me not to do that in front of the kids.  Still wanting to tease, I started to turn my back to them and bend back down to kiss her.  Laughing, she shoved me and slipped under my arm before I could snag her up again.
After that, she got to work on brushing the girls' hair.
When she was finished with Janet, she and Janet turned towards me.  "Now, isn't she a lovely young lady?"
I grinned. "Both of you are."

Shortly after that, Merida popped in, just as I'd asked her to yesterday morning.
She took the babies up and the three of us talked.
Merida agreed that she could watch the kids whenever Rapunzel and I wanted to get away and be alone for a bit.
And what Rapunzel didn't know is that I'd planned what I hoped was a romantic day today, and Merida was going to watch the kids for us.
Rapunzel seemed to feel guilty about leaving Merida alone with four kids, especially when her legs were sore, but Merida laughingly made her leave anyway.

We finally left, and descended to the floor; where we just walked beside one another in silent company.  Eventually, I looked up from watching my feet.  Rapunzel and I had kind of wandered apart.  I caught her eye, holding my arm up from my side in an invitation to come over.  She gave me a small, almost shy smile and then slipped in under my arm, wrapping her skinny arm around my waist and resting her head on my chest. I almost wondered if she could feel my heart thundering, cause that's what it was doing!  I also wondered if she was as pathetically fascinated with me as I was with her.
Finally, I remembered something I wanted to ask her.
"Do you forgive me?"
She pulled her head up and looked at me, quirking a brow.  "For what?"
"For pushing you too far.  I should've never-" She stood on tiptoe and kissed me on the cheek to make me stop. It worked.
"I forgive you - I never really was mad at you to begin with!  Did you think I was?" she asked.
"I didn't really know."
"With a husband like you, I could never be unhappy long!"  I realized she's taken a page from my book and I chuckled.
"If I ever try to get you to do something you don't want to do, or if you're not sure about something, just tell me.  Don't be afraid of stepping on my toes - it won't hurt that bad.  And then you can just give me a swat on the back of the head if I don't listen."
She rolled her eyes and laughed at that one.
After that, I glanced towards Rayne's shelf.  She was just peeking towards us, so I nodded my head.  [Cue the music]
 I  stopped and stepped in front of Rapunzel, asking her if I could have this dance.  My hand shook a little, but I held it out anyway.
I think I stunned Rapunzel, because she just stood and stared at me, wide-eyed, before she finally nodded.  She slowly placed a hand on my shoulder and another around my waist, as if she wasn't sure what to do, exactly.  I wasn't too sure, either - I'd just learned on Friday, and Rayne had taught me!
Feeling like a kid going to prom for the first time, I swallowed hard and put my hands on her hips.  Or should I have put them around her waist?  Her shoulders? Ugh.  My train of concerned thoughts was derailed when Rapunzel looked up at me with her brow wrinkled.  "But..I don't know how to dance."
I lost all concerns and smiled at her.  "Just follow me."
Then the song came on...it was "Love Story" ..I think by Taylor Swift?  I didn't know and didn't really care, because pretty soon I was lost in the dance.  I carefully tried to guide Rapunzel back and forth, in circles, and just swayed back and forth.  I hardly even noticed when Rapunzel would scuff her feet on my boots, or when she scraped her toenail on the back of her other heel, misstepped, and almost dragged me down with her until she regained balance.  I wondered if I was in a trance or something.  Rapunzel must've felt the same, because when the first song came to an end, she suddenly pulled away from me and mumbled something about having to go check on Merida and the kids.
I took her by the waist and gently pulled her close again.  "They're fine.  You just enjoy your romantic day off.  Since we couldn't have a honeymoon, I wanted to at least give you today to dance and everything and just talk -  And then every evening, or whenever, we'll be able to talk.  I know it's not a honeymoon like you probably wanted, but it's the best I can do." I kissed her forehead.
"If this is the best you can do, I'm beyond happy." She put her arms back around me and we started into a more lively dance..."Into the Open Air", from Brave?  Cool.
We went through a whole slew of other songs, and once the last song's guitar piece slowly died, Rapunzel rested her head on my shoulder and didn't try to pull away. She actually tightened her grip on me a bit, as if she were clinging to the last seconds of the song.  I was in no huge rush to stop dancing, either, so I just stepped back and forth slowly, still to the beat of the last song.  I glanced down once, and her eyes were closed and she had a blissful smile on her face, so I pulled her in just a bit closer, rested my cheek on her head, and kept dancing.
Eventually, though, she pulled her head up.  "Sorry for being such a huge failure at dancing.  I probably broke half of your toes!  I loved it, though - more than you probably thought!"
I laughed.  "You were fine."
I reluctantly pulled away a bit, but I still held her loosely around the waist and she seemed in no hurry to get out of my arms.  "You were absolutely fabulous!  I never would've guessed you knew how to dance!  When did you learn?"
I explained about Rayne teaching me on Friday.
Finally, I pointed out that if we climbed up onto the chair, we could have a perfect view out through the window to watch clouds.  Rapunzel agreed, and we sat together.  I don't know about her, but I didn't really watch the clouds too much.  I kept sneaking glances towards her, and still wondered how it was possible that I could feel so much for her.  Yep...we're hopeless romantics.  :P

Eventually, though, we decided we'd best get back to the shelf, Merida, and the kids.
Rapunzel unbraided her hair and gleefully told all the details to Merida, while Merida told her about how the kids were.  After Merida left, we just sat with each other and held the kids.  Jase babbled on and on about how much she'd missed us today.
Finally, though, all the girls quieted down.  Jase and Janet went to sleep, as did the babies.  I nodded off for a few minutes, and when I jerked awake, I saw Rapunzel was sound asleep, cuddling the two sleeping babies.
I smiled to myself at how sweet the scene was.  Then, I carefully lifted the babies from her arms and laid them down.  I considered leaving Rapunzel there, and not disturbing her, but then I decided she'd be more comfortable back behind the lamp.
I gently worked my arm under her legs, and wrapped my other one around her shoulders, and then lifted her up.  To my despair, her eyelids flew open, and she looked at me.
"Put me down.  I can go to bed myself..." she mumbled.
I told her that I could carry her, as well - goodness, she hardly weighed anything anyway - and she didn't fight me.  She put her arms around my neck and  hugged me until I bent to set her down on her back.  I carefully stepped around her and took my usual spot in the corner, sat down, and smoothed her hair from her face. After I was done, I hesitated, then leaned down to give her a goodnight kiss, which she returned.  Then I just sat with a hand on her shoulder, grinning at her.  I just wish I could tell her how much I cared about her - I'm not the best with words, unlike the Flynn from the movie.  Just one sentence from him sent human girls swooning!  Not me...As I sat there and pondered, she eventually looked up at me, gave a faint little smile, and asked me, "You know what?"
"What?" I asked quietly.
"I love you so much it hurts."  She said.
I nodded.  That's exactly how I felt about her.  "Yeah, same here, sweetie."  Before I was done with the sentence, however, she was out like a light.  I stroked her hair a little bit before I carefully placed a kiss in her hair and went to sleep myself.  We'll see how good the babies are tonight!

Our 'honeymoon' day :P

Sunday morning dawned clear, but horribly muggy.  And it was totally silent and peaceful!  

I rolled over onto my back and saw Flynn staring at me with a huge smile on his face.  

I sat up, blinking groggily.  "What?"

"Morning, gorgeous."  

I glanced down at myself and realized how tangled my hair was. "Oh, knock it off." I said, rolling my eyes.  

"I'm serious,"  he chuckled, sitting and brushing my hair from my face and smoothing it behind my shoulders.  I sat still, enjoying his gentle touch - it was amazing how much I was able to enjoy my new hubby, now that I wasn't totally freaked out about something.

"You're obviously blind if you think I'm so 'gorgeous'.  Hey, thank you soo much for getting up with the kids last night.  How can I ever thank you enough?!"  

 I leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the cheek.  He gave me a big smile.  "You just did."  

I couldn't help but smile when he smiled.  I wish that butterfly-ey feeling would go away, though.  But I guess if you quit having that feeling, that's when you quit loving whoever it is.  Right?  I have no clue.  Regardless.  

Then, I heard a small cry, which would soon break into a full-blown screech.  

"Annnd duty calls."  Flynn stood and held a hand out to me, which I took.  

He scooped up Allie, and I Hallie.  I reassured Hallie quietly until she quit crying, and she actually smiled up at me!  My heart squeezed, and I got that motherly feeling again.  She did have such an adorable little smile.  We set the babies back down once they were happy again, and then Jase sat up, blinking with confusion, until her face brightened.  Then she ran for me, and I picked her up to give her a quick cuddle.  

"I'm so glad I wasn't dreaming.  I was afraid I was dreaming, and when I'd wake up, you'd be gone and I'd still be parent-less."  

"You don't have to worry, honey," I bumped my forehead with hers and she giggled, then twisted around, spotted Flynn, and immediately flung her arms at him.  

Laughing, he took her from me.  I made my way over to Janet, and asked her how she'd slept last night. 

"Like a rock."  she smiled at me.  "Thanks." 

I nodded and patted her on the shoulder, before I went about brushing out and braiding my hair.  

When I was done braiding, I turned around just as Flynn reached out and swept me into a hug. "What was that for?" I asked, after pulling away from him a bit.  

"No particular reason.  Oh, and when I thought you couldn't get any prettier, you just did!"  He winked, and I rolled my eyes, playfully shoving him.  Instead of going backwards from the shove, he took me with him and we both almost fell down.  When we both regained our balance, he bent down and gave me a quick kiss.  

"Not in front of the kids," I giggled, glancing over my shoulder.  When I realized he was just going to turn away from the girls and kiss me again, I laughed, shoved him again, and slipped away.  I truly did love having him around, and joking around with him.  But it was time to get down to business.  I rounded up Janet and Jase, grabbed a brush and hair elastics, and fixed their hair up.

Here's Jase, looking a lot neater (: .....

...And elegant little Janet.  

I put an arm around Janet and turned her around to face Flynn, who was talking with Jase.  "Now, isn't she a lovely young lady?"

"Both of you are," he chuckled, with one of his award-winning grins.  (Well, he's never won any awards for his grins...but he totally should :P) 

Janet went back to her chair and sat down, right before Merida popped in.  

"Hi!"  I waved excitedly.  "Come on in and sit down."  

She did just that, but she scooped up the babies first - they'd started whimpering again.  "How're you two doing with these four?  Wait, four?  Ohh, hi!"  Merida laughed when she noticed Janet.  Janet returned her hello and said what her name was.  

Then, Merida turned back and looked at me.  "So?"

Glancing at Flynn, I grinned.  "It's been...interesting."  

"I thought I could hear crying last night - it was right under our shelf and wasn't necessarily all baby crying."  Merida said.  

"Yyyeah..." I said.  "Just was kind of overwhelmed."  

"Well, yeah."  

As promised last night, Flynn, Merida and I tried to figure in time every day where we could talk and have a break from the kids.  Merida promised that the four kids could come up to hang with the three of them every day, whenever we felt like it.  

"Oh, you can't..."

"Trust me.  It's boring up there.  I'll be happy to.  Why not go do something now, since I'm here?"  

As she put the babies down, I noticed that she stayed seated, not getting up to do so.  

"Your legs hurt?"

"Yeah, but I can still watch them."  

"No, you go rest."  

"Good grief, I can sit down and watch them just as well as I can stand and watch them!"  She laughed.  "Just go.  Janet will show me the ropes, yeah?"

Janet nodded.

When I started to disagree, she gave me a gentle push, which sent me right up against Flynn.  She waved, and so we did, too, before descending to the floor.

As we walked, we sort of drifted apart from one another.  When Flynn noticed that, he must have taken it as something else.  He held an arm out from his side, and I silently accepted, putting an arm around his waist and leaning my head up against him.  We walked in total silence, for awhile.  

"Do you forgive me?"  he asked suddenly.  

"For what?" I asked, confused.  

"For pushing you too far.  I should've never-"

I broke him off with a kiss on the cheek.  

"I forgive you - I never was really mad at you to begin with.  Did you think I was?"

"I didn't really know."  

Taking a line from Flynn, I grinned and said, "With a husband like you, I could never be unhappy long."  

He chuckled and told me to tell him when I wasn't sure about something.  "And just give me a swat on the back of the head if I don't listen."  he joked.  

I rolled my eyes and laughed.  

But he had a surprise up his sleeve.  

He stepped in front of me and held out a hand, his other behind his back.  

"May I have this dance?"

I stared at him for a second, wide-eyed, before deciding to nod.

Putting an arm around him and the other on his shoulder, I said, "But..I don't know how to dance."  

He smiled and  told me to just follow his movements, just as a song came on from Tangled Fan's iPod - he must've turned it on and set it to play songs at a certain time - if you could do that with an iPod.  

Yep.  I stepped on his boots repeatedly, scraped one toenail on the back of my bare heel once, (if you've never done that...IT HURTS!!), and basically, I was a complete failure.  But what awed me was that he knew how to dance.  Now I'm gonna take a line of Flynn's from the movie: 'Who knew, right?!' :D  

After the first song was over, I startled.  I was almost in a trance, I guess.  I pulled away and said that I needed to go check on Merida and the kids.  

"They're fine.  You just enjoy your romantic day off.  Since we couldn't have a honeymoon, I wanted to at least give you today to dance and everything and just talk.  And then every evening, or whenever, we'll be able to talk.  I know it's not a honeymoon like you probably wanted, but it's the best I can do."  He kissed my forehead, and I got the butterflies again.  

"If this is the best you can do, I'm beyond happy."  I said, and I meant it.

After the last song died down, I put my head on his shoulder, in no great rush to end this wonderful - and slightly embarrassing, because I didn't know how to dance - moment. He still held me close and stepped back and forth slowly, still to the tune of the last song. 

Eventually, I spoke up and apologized for being a failure and probably breaking half of his toes.

He got a good laugh out of that one.  "You were fine."

"You were absolutely fabulous!  I would never have guessed that you knew how to dance!  When did you learn?"  

"Oh....let's see..Friday after we went to meet the girls?  I slipped away and asked Rayne to teach me.  She's in on this as well - I asked her to make an appropriate playlist on Tangled Fan's iPod and to play it at that specific time."  

I made a mental note to thank Rayne for helping orchestrate this awesome day.    

After that, we climbed up onto the chair and watched the clouds outside the window...at least, we watched the clouds some.  Most of the time was spent sneaking glances at one another...you probably think we're hopeless romantics, but hey - we're just newlyweds, still :D  

Finally, we decided we did need to get back to the shelf. 

As I unbraided my hair, Merida picked every detail out, and I asked how her day with the kids had gone.  

"Janet's a really good kid.  She helped a lot.  The babies were pretty okay, I mean they cried some, but no biggie.  Jase was pretty good too - but she was very concerned that you guys wouldn't be back."  

I thanked her several times over, and gave her a hug.  

"It was a lot of fun - I'll be glad to have them over tomorrow!"  she smiled, waved, and then climbed back up to her shelf.  

And then we just sat around - I with the babies, Flynn with Jase, and Janet sat on the chair.  Eventually, the girls went to sleep, and the babies did too.  

Janet curled up on the chair...

...And Jase beside the chair.  We told her she didn't have to sleep there, but she said she liked it and thought it was really cool.  So we let her there. 

I guess I must've nodded off as well, tired out from going to bed really late, and also from our day out.   I felt the babies being gently picked up from my arms, but I was working hard to peel my eyes open, when I felt the shelf no longer under me!

My eyes popped open then, and I was face-to-face with Flynn.  

"Put me down..I can go to bed myself."  

"I can carry you, too.  You're really tired."  

I didn't want to fight him, so I just put my arms around his neck and hugged him tight.  

He set me carefully down on my back.  He sat down in his customary spot, smoothed my hair from my face, and then he leaned over so we could kiss good-night.  Then, he just placed a hand on my shoulder and smiled down at me until I finally went back to sleep, again.  Right before I fell asleep, I said, "You know what?"  He asked what, and I whispered, "I love you so much it hurts."  

He said, "Yeah, same here, sweetie."  But by the time he was at 'same here', I was falling fast asleep, for the second night in a row.  At least, before the babies would start crying again... ;)

It amazed me how such a tall, big-handed guy, who was sometimes cocky, could also be so gentle and sweet.  I was also beyond happy to share my life with him!  You probably all are getting disgusted or possibly even a little sick to your stomachs  reading our posts..I know we've both fallen hopelessly head-over-heels for each other and act all lovey-dovey with one another because of our feelings.  But I'm not done enjoying my sweet new hubby yet, so it'll probably be awhile before all the 'sweet, gushy stuff' dies down - if it ever does - sorry :P  

Flynn here...Fostering & stuff

Hey everyone...Flynn here.  Rapunzel let me know that whenever I wanted to blog, I could..soo it's late at night and I'm up, so I might as well give my rendition of fostering.
I was on Cloud 9 when we went to pick up Jase, Allie and Hallie.  Janet seems pretty nice, as well, and so we ended up getting her as well.  here's the link to my wife's complete retelling of earlier today.
Jase is very attached and has a hard time being separated for even a few minutes.  The poor little kid.
Well, after we got back home from getting the kids, I sat with Rapunzel for awhile after I managed to convince Jase that it was okay to go play if she wanted to.
Rapunzel seemed pretty unsettled, and would hardly look at me, so I gave her a big kiss to try to catch her attention, and told her it was going to be fine.  She had said she was ready and okay with it, mostly, but I have my suspicions that she was super overwhelmed. Going from an unmarried doll to married with FOUR foster kids?  Yeah, it might be overwhelming, just a tad bit, I guess.  Anyway, then Jase came running over and I turned to her, accidentally letting go of Rapunzel's hand when I did so.  Unfortunately, I think that was totally the wrong move to make with Rapunzel, cause she jumped up and left.  But I couldn't just leave Jase, could I?  So I talked to her awhile.
"What'cha dooooin', Daddy?" Jase asked with a cute little grin.
I smiled at her.  She held a stunning resemblance to Rapunzel, and that's probably why I already loved the little girl.  I mean, seriously - she has the same dark green eyes, a dazzling smile, and the brown hair that the movie Rapunzel ended up with!  Regardless.
"Talking with Momma," I told her.  "So, did you have a good time playing?"
"Yeah, I had tons of fun!"  she exclaimed, and then dove into an explanation of what her game was about.
Allie and Hallie started wailing, and I glanced around to see where Rapunzel was at.  She was behind the lamp, probably trying to sleep - she hadn't gotten much sleep since at least Wednesday night - Wednesday night, I heard the three of them chattering all night long, and even after Merida, Rayne, and Blondie went to sleep, I could hear Rapunzel pacing the floor of the shelf.  And then Thursday night and last night, she'd tossed and turned so bad that I had ended up going to the wicker chair so I could sleep. Anyway, since she was trying to sleep, I started to go get the babies, Jase babbling up a storm, but by the time I started towards them, she was already up and holding them.
Finally, Jase's narrative about her game died down.  "You know, Daddy, I'm really happy you and Momma took me in.  You're the best ever.  Momma sure doesn't seem to understand how to be a mom, but I can tell she's trying and I love her anyway.  And I love you too, Daddy!"
I gave her a big hug and then carried her over to by the wicker chair, where she finally went to sleep at.  Janet was sound asleep on the wicker chair, so I smoothed the hair from her face and looked at her blissful, sleeping smile.
I went over to Rapunzel, who had finally gotten the babies to go back to sleep.  She was turned away from me, but she turned around and almost bumped into me.  I took in her disheveled hair and said, "Hey, gorgeous."  Even with a formerly-screaming baby in each arm, her hair all amiss, and so tired she could hardly stand up, she was still beautiful, and I couldn't believe she was my wife.  I gave her a grin, and then she told me to shut up. Regardless of that, she looked like she could use a hug and some reassuring words.  Make that a lot of reassuring words.  I gave her a kiss in the hair, and she snapped at me to let her go so she could put the babies down.
I stepped aside, and she set the babies carefully down, putting a gentle hand on each of them in turn so they wouldn't wake up again.  As soon as she stood and turned, I grabbed her into a hug.  I told her Jase was asleep, and then asked her what the matter was - even though I probably knew.  When she didn't answer right off the bat, I noticed her cheeks were streaked with tears, so I gently wiped her cheeks.
We walked out onto the 'deck' and went towards the other wall, so we wouldn't wake anyone up.
"I just..." she took a deep breath and let it out.  I took her hands into mine and studied her face until she regained composure.  "It's just that we're moving too fast.  I mean, in the past month or so, we've been moved to a house, taken out of our boxes, gotten engaged, gotten MARRIED, and now we have four children depending on us, two of which need a ton of attention.  I just don't know how we can do this.  I know some of them will leave eventually, but what about the ones we choose to adopt?  I want kids, yes.  I know you do, too.
But I was really hoping for some time where we could be together alone, just to talk and be around each other, before we adopted or fostered.  I'm just afraid we won't get that now.  I mean, we've only been married for TWO days!  And I'm like a zombie.  I haven't slept well since Wednesday night."  She paused, and I gathered her into a tight embrace.  She started to cry hard, and I felt terrible.  "I just don't know why, Flynn.  I was never cut out for this.  Maybe we shouldn't have gotten married.  You want kids, and I do too, or at least I thought I did.  But now I just feel so overwhelmed!  I should've said no, but I thought it would be fine, and I didn't want to disappoint you.  Maybe you should have married someone who could actually take this stuff in stride!  You probably think I'm a total nut.  And I'm a horrible mom!"
I felt horrible - I couldn't believe how much I must have pushed her before she finally cracked this evening.  But I couldn't cry, because now I needed to be the faithful husband that she needed right now.
I set my cheek on her silky hair and started to talk.  "Hey.  Don't ever say we shouldn't have gotten married.  I love you and only you.  It's overwhelming, yes.  I can totally understand that - you've gone from an unmarried doll to married with four kids in less than a week.  I'm so sorry that I rushed you.  We could talk to Tangled Fan and see if we could stop fostering, if you'd like."  I paused.  "And don't ever worry about disappointing me - with a wife like you, I could never be unhappy for long."
Her voice was muffled, because her head was pressed up against my shoulder - which was getting pretty wet with tears.  "No.  We can't stop fostering.  It would be so confusing to those poor girls.  One day, being fostered by some nutcase and a loving husband, and then the next day, not having a family.  Those kids need us, or at least you.  They probably could do without me."
I was amazed at her sudden burst of refusal to send them back.  She really did care for these kids, and she hadn't just accepted them into our 'home' because I wanted to.  Then I remembered what Jase had said earlier.
"You're a fine mother.  A horrible mother would have jumped on the opportunity to send them packing again.  And you know what Jase said to me earlier?  She said that even though you sure didn't seem to understand how to be a momma, you were sure trying hard and she loved you anyway."
Her breath caught, and she sobbed.  "The poor little thing, nobody's ever wanted her-"
"And that's why she needs you too!"
She sighed and nodded, before she brought up the issue of 'never having time to ourselves' again.  I agreed with her, though.  "I promise that we'll work something out, because I want that too.  Tomorrow we'll talk about it, and we'll figure something out, okay hon?"
She sniffed and nodded.  "Gosh, I feel stupid - what doll cries over becoming a mom?"
Although I had no clue, I said, "More than what you probably think."  I pulled away from her, smiled and wiped her soaked cheeks with my hand, but then I took her in towards me again.  She whispered that she loved me, and apologized for being a 'jerk' earlier.  I got the butterflies when she said she loved me.  I said it was fine, and told her I loved her too.  I know I had  already told her that earlier, but she needed to know I was there for her and didn't care if she was a 'total nut'.  Which she wasn't, of course.

So then after that, we just stood there quietly, and I still had my arms wrapped around her - she had her slim arms around my waist so tight, I wondered if her life depended on it.  I still felt horrible for pushing her so much.  I wondered if she'd ever forgive me for it, but knowing her, she likely would - which somehow made me feel even worse.
After awhile, her arms slipped from around my waist, and the only reason she didn't fall over was because I still had ahold of her.  She must have finally gone to sleep.  I carefully maneuvered her into my arms, carried her back to the shelf and laid her down behind the lamp.  Brushing her hair from her pretty face, I kissed her forehead carefully, hoping not to wake her.  I was just settling down beside her when one of the babies started whimpering - I knew that the whimper would become a bloodcurdling shriek if I didn't get moving.  I must've startled Rapunzel, or maybe the baby woke her, because she sat up.  Turning, I whispered, "Go back to sleep, baby.  I'll take care of her." I put a hand on her shoulder and eased her back down.  She gave me a sweet little smile that made my stomach feel funny (in a good way), rolled over, and then she was out.  Complete with little snores - I kid you not.

I turned back to the task at hand.  It was Hallie that was going to raise a ruckus.  I picked her up and carried her out to the 'deck' and then wandered around back and forth, till she went back to sleep.  I might have woken up one of the dolls from Merida's shelf, because I think I saw someone peek over the edge before retreating back to the shelf.
And then I stopped walking, and Hallie started to huff.  Oh boy..I started pacing back and forth again, and started humming to her.  Eventually she quieted down.  Then I went back and laid her down beside Allie, trying not to wake either one of them.  Jase stirred, and I put a hand on her shoulder until she started breathing deeply, as if she were asleep again.

And right now I can't go to sleep.  I have Allie right now, because she was fussing, and decided to type on here for awhile, or until she fell asleep.  Since this is such a huge post, she's definitely out cold.  So I guess I better go put her back and try to catch some z's before the next catastrophe strikes :D  Talk to you all soon, either me or Rapunzel (probably Rapunzel).

Fostering part 2

Saturday afternoon, we went back to finalize fostering plans.  When we got there, it was chaotic.  

FOUR other girls were there - three were younger, one was a Barbie model, probably around fifteen; and then there was Jase, Allie, and Hallie.  Two of the three younger girls were chattering incessantly, the babies were screaming, and I almost turned around and left.  

The three younger girls turned towards us.  The dark-skinned girl waved at me, but the other two just seemed more concerned about their conversation.  

I said hello to the fifteen year old, and she smiled at me; but turned away and left.

Jase saw me and Flynn and came barreling over.  "I knew you'd come back!" she squealed.   "You're gonna be my momma, right?" she held her arms up and I scooped her up.  She wrapped her arms around my neck and I didn't have the guts to tell her it was just fostering for now.  I leaned my cheek up against her hair and couldn't help but smile at her sweet innocence.  Flynn patted my back and offered to take Jase.  I handed her over to him, and he grinned down at her.  She  promptly began chatting with him about how happy she was that he was going to be her daddy, and I her momma.  

I started to go towards the babies, to try to calm them down, but the young, dark-skinned girl stopped me.  "Hi," she said shyly. "I'm Janet.  Are you here to take Jase home?"

"And the babies too, probably.  Just fostering, for now," I smiled at her. 

"I'd love to be fostered. You know, I've been stuck in a box with those two practically all my life.  They're really mean to me..my plastic carrier might say 'wee 3 friends', but it should be 'wee 2 friends and 1 outcast'." She looked down at her feet.  "I'm good friends with Jase, though.  She's a cool little kid."

I nodded, and suddenly, she brightened.  "Could you foster me, too?  I'm a really good kid, I'll do whatever you tell me to do.  I promise!" 

My heart squeezed.  I felt so bad for this poor girl, too; and not to mention the fact that I was taking away her only friend!  I put a hand on her shoulder and she looked up at me hopefully.  

"I-I don't know, Janet.  You seem like  a really sweet girl, but this is the first time I've ever become a mom.  Truth be told, I just got married on Thursday!  I'm just not sure I can take on four - I'm not sure I can take on three!"  

She looked back down at her feet.  "I understand," she whispered, before going back over to the other two girls and sitting down.  

I busied myself by going over to Allie and Hallie.  I scooped them both up, and bounced them in my arms until they started to calm down.  I was beginning to feel overwhelmed.  How would I ever take care of three kids, two of which were babies that needed so much attention?! 

As I was pondering this, slightly frantically, Flynn came over and put a hand on my shoulder.  In his other arm was Jase.  "You okay?"  

"Just feeling a bit overwhelmed, that's all," I attempted a brave smile.  

And then Janet came back over.  "You need all the help you can get, right?  I can help!  I took care of these two babies most of the time when they were in the box.  Here, let me take them from you," she said.  I held them out carefully towards her, and she tried to take Hallie; but her arms were stiff and unbendable.  Her smile wavered, but then she managed to get Hallie on her one hip, and Allie on the other.  "See?  I can help.  I promise I'll help!  It'd only be for a few weeks, Tangled Fan said so.  Please?  I promise I won't be much of a bother."  

I put an arm around her and glanced up at Flynn, who nodded.  

"O-okay."  I said.  

"Oh my goodness, really?" her whole face brightened.  "Thank you!  Thank you so much!  Thank you thank you thank you!"  

"Alright," I chuckled.  "Go get your things, if you have any." 

She nodded, taking the babies with her.  Flynn set Jase down so she could do the same.

Then he swept me into his arms.  "Should we be doing this?" I asked. 

"Look how happy you made that girl.  I think we should.  Besides, it's probably not permanent for all of them."  He smiled.  "And I think you'll make a wonderful mom."  He glanced around to make sure nobody was watching, and bent down to give me  a quick little kiss.  

After that, Jase came racing over and he picked her up.  Janet came back over, too, with the babies, and we all left for home.  

Once we were home, Flynn and I took our customary spots at the edge of the shelf.  Janet took the little whicker chair, and I finally managed to get the babies to go to sleep.  Jase was off playing a made-up game with herself.  The shelf was starting to feel just a bit crowded.  Flynn took my hand and looked at me, but I was looking away. I still wasn't so sure we should have done this.

"Hey," he whispered. 

When I only glanced in his general direction, he leaned over and gave  me a kiss.  

"Everything's gonna be alright, hon."  he said.  "You'll see."

Suddenly, Jase came over.  "What'cha do-o-oin', Daddy?" she asked.

Flynn turned away from me to talk with Jase.  That's what I was a bit concerned about.  Yeah, Jase needed all the attention she could get; and I was fine with that - it's just that I was hoping for some alone time with my new husband, before we decided to have kids around.  I know we went wayyyyy too fast this time, but there wasn't any way to change it now.  

I unbraided my hair, stood up, and went over to behind the lamp to curl up and go to sleep.  I was just falling asleep when I heard the babies wailing...again.  

Getting up and trying to wipe my disheveled hair from my face, I picked them both up and swung my arms back and forth in an attempt to quiet them back down.  

"Shhhhh, sweeties.  Go back to sleep," I said, but my voice was cracking.  I had hardly gotten any sleep since Wednesday, because between the excitement over the wedding, and now this, I had been too worked up to go to sleep. As the babies wailed, tears started to streak down my face, too.  What had I done?  I knew it...it was a bad idea.  This is what happens when you go too quickly - you end up being a mom before you're ready, and when you're not ready, you just can't handle the stress.  

Finally, the babies stopped crying, but I knew that the second I would put them down, they'd cry again.  So I just stood there, kept my face from Flynn so he wouldn't see me, and let the tears run silently down my face.  

Eventually, I decided that the babies were sleeping soundly enough that they could be laid back down for a little while - if I was lucky.  

When I turned to set them down, Flynn was standing there. 

"Hey, gorgeous."  he grinned at me, and though I felt butterflies at his mere smile, I grumbled at him to shut it.  

Instead of letting me push past with the babies, he caught my into a one-armed hug and kissed my hair.  

"Lemme go.  Please?  I need to set them down.  My arms are going numb, for goodness' sake!"  I tried not to snap, but I couldn't help it.  Sleep Deprivation + Four Kids + Two Sreaming  = Grumpy, Emotional Rapunzel.  

He let me go, but as soon as I laid them down, he swept me back up.  

"I just got Jase to go to sleep," he whispered.  "What's the matter?"  

I almost said, 'what do you think', but I tried not to be hateful towards him.  It was half my fault for agreeing, anyway.  I didn't want to admit it to him, but I was pretty sure he knew anyway.  

He gently wiped my cheeks of tears, and I spilled everything to him.  Why I was so overwhelmed.  Why I was concerned.  Everything.  

We stepped out onto the 'deck' and walked a ways so that we wouldn't wake anyone up as we talked.  

When I was finished with my lengthy speech, he took me into a tight hug, which made me cry harder.  

"I just don't know why, Flynn.  I was never cut out for this.  Maybe we shouldn't have gotten married.  You want kids, and I do, too, or at least I thought I did, but now I just feel so overwhelmed. I should've said no, but I thought it would be fine, and I didn't want to disappoint you. Maybe you should have married someone who could actually take this stuff in stride!  You probably think I'm a total nut.  And I'm a horrible mom!"  

"Hey."  He talked through my hair, because his cheek was laying on my head.  "Don't ever say we shouldn't have gotten married.  I love you, and only you.  It's overwhelming, yes.  I can totally understand that - you've gone from an unmarried doll to married with four kids, in less than a week.  I'm so sorry that I rushed you.  We could talk to Tangled Fan and see if we could stop fostering, if you'd like.  And don't ever worry about disappointing me  - with a wife like you, I could never be unhappy for long."  

Talking into his shoulder, I said, "No!  We can't stop fostering.  It would be so confusing to those poor girls.  One day, being fostered by some nutcase and a loving husband, and then the next day, not having a family.  Those kids need us, or at least you.  They probably could do without me."  

"You know what that just told me?"

"What?"

"You're a fine mother.  A horrible mother would have jumped on the opportunity to send them packing, again.  And you know what Jase said to me earlier?  She said that even though you 'sure didn't seem to understand how to be a momma, you were sure trying hard and she loved you anyway'."  

I sobbed.  "The poor little thing, nobody's ever wanted her..."

"And that's why she needs you too."  

I nodded, loosing a shuddery sigh. "But what if we never get to have time to ourselves?  I mean, I don't care that we didn't get to have a honeymoon, but I would like to be able to actually talk and have a bit of alone time once in awhile."  

"I promise that we'll work something out, because I want that too.  Tomorrow we'll talk about it, and we'll figure something out, okay, hon?"  

Sniffling, I nodded.  "Gosh.  I feel stupid.  What doll cries over becoming a mom?"  

"More than what you probably think," he pulled away from me just enough to smile down at me and to wipe my tears again, and then he pulled me in once more.  

"I love you," I whispered.  "I'm sorry I was a jerk earlier." 

"That's fine, I get it." he said quietly. "I love you too.  More than you know."  

We just stood there, then, in complete silence and in each others' embrace.  I guess I must have fallen asleep like that, because the next thing I remember is him laying me down carefully behind the lamp, brushing my hair from my face, and kissing my forehead before laying down beside me...for a couple seconds, and then getting back up because one of the babies started whimpering.  

I started to sit up to go get the baby, but he turned back around, eased me back down and told me to go to sleep, and that he'd handle it.  I gave him a tired smile, and then I was out like a light.